EUuuughhh

PM Sir Keir Stammerer: Rachel, darling, have you seen what John Major has been saying about re-joining the EU? Billions we’re losing, billions.

Rachel ‘Border’ Reever: Ah’ve binn saying same bloody thing fa’ years now.

Sir Keir: Why are you speaking in a Yorkshire accent? You’re a Londoner.

Reever: Aye lad, but ah’m member o’ parliament fa’ Leeds West n’ Poodsey, thy knows.

Sir Keir: Ah, I see. Pudsey…yes, I thought that was in London, by the Thames. Any road up, lass, what do you think?

Peter Kyle: I’m up for it.

Reever: We know tha’ lad, boot what d’ya think aboot the E bloody U?

Kyle: As Secretary of State for Business and Trade, I can only see benefits for the country and my business.

Sir Keir: Yes, ok but what about all the Farage supporters? They’d lynch us if we tried to re-join.

David Lame Me: Call a referendum, PM. The polls say that the people would vote in favour. But, just in case, this time we manipulate them.

Reever: If we get back in, yer can blame all t’problems on the bloody oonelected Eurocraats, lad.

Kyle: We might have to adopt the Euro, Sir PM.

Lame Me: We could call it the ‘Europound’.

Sir Keir: Hmm, yes, I like that.

Reever: The way t’ economy is going, the chuffin’ pound will soon be worth same as the euro anyway.

Sir Keir: Good point, Rachel. We still need to get rid of Nigel, though. Any thoughts?

Lame Me: Simple pimple, Sir K. We AI the hell out of Facebook with Farquar Farage and Putin in bed with each other.

Sir Keir: They’re gay?

Lame Me: No, not like that…well, maybe…no, I mean corruption, taking kickbacks when he was an MEP, undermining Ukraine, the house purchase thing, member of the Hitler Youth, you know, that sort of stuff.

Reever: A Reform grooming gang!

Sir Keir: Perfecto! Tell Shabananarama to get on it right away. I’ll be lauded for making Britain great again.

Pat My Fadden: Small business will need sla…cheap labour so we can get the illegal migrants to do that.

Lame Me: But they’re not allowed to work.

My Fadden: We give ’em the choice; work or you’re back to where you came from.

Lame Me: But that’s illegal.

Mt Fadden: They’re illegal! 2 illegals make a legal.

Sir Keir: Hang on, I’m a lawyer…err, yeah that sounds about right. Tell Shabananarama to get on it right away. Oh happy days are here again, the skies above are clear again…