President MacTrump is in make-up, being prepared for his 4,208th interview on Fox News. Laura ‘Torture Voice’ Ingraham pops her head around the door.
Ingraham (trying to channel Marilyn Monroe but sounding like a goat being throttled): Happy interview, Mister Preside-e-nt, happy interview to you.
MacTrump: Hey Laura. You got my List of Questions?
Ingraham: Sure thing, Do-o-nnie.
MacTrump: Yeah…when the Make-up girl gets Back from the shitter, call me Mister President…or Lord Trump if You like.
Ingraham: Oh yeah, fo-o–r su-u-re…Mister Magnificent Man.
MacTrump: Have you Noticed my new Color? I’ve dropped the Orange glow and Now I’m going for Burnt Umbra.
Ingraham: It’s amazing. It’s really…burnt.
Pete ‘Happy Hours Begins at 10am’ Hegseth enters, sees Laura and slitters through gritted teeth: Oh, hi Laura.
Ingraham scrowels: Hey, Peter
Hegseth: Mr. President, you must come to the Romper…I mean the War Room immediately. We have a situation.
MacTrump: We Always have a Situation, Pete. How can It be More Important than my Interview?
Hegseth: It’s the Ukraine. Something’s happened.
MacTrump: Zelensky’s wearing a Suit? Women’s clothes?
Hegseth (agitated): Slovenia has sent troops to the Ukraine.
MacTrump: Slovenia? I’ve Heard that Somewhere before.
Ingraham: Don…Mr. President. It’s where your wife comes from.
MacTrump: Oh. Which One?
Hegseth is hopping from one foot to another like a little boy who needs to pee.
Ingraham: The one you’re married to now. Melania.
MacTrump: Oh yeah. Well, Pete, Is that bad? With, urm… Slovelania?
Hegseth: You need to come to the War Room right now, Supreme Commander. Squarejaw McGraw and the gang are all there.
MacTrump looks at himself in the mirror; he smiles and blows himself a kiss: To the Batcave, Pete.
Minority News Report 