MAY LOSES MOJO AGAIN.

Sadly, after the Health Secretary Matt Hancock announced the discover of his beloved leader’s ‘oomph’ (“It was a brilliant speech that proves she has ‘mojo'”, the PM’s aides are now frantically searching for the missing mojo, in the hope of locating it for the auditions for the next season of Strictly Embarrassing.

Some Tory faithfuls opined that it was the best speech that Theresa May had given. Not exactly difficult was it? All of her speeches sound like they were written by a bored computer programme. I sent one to a friend who suffers from insomnia and he was cutely snoring like a little kitten within 20 seconds of listening to it. If the UK went to war and the PM were required to bolster the morale of the troops, they might as well do a ‘Singapore’ and surrender en masse. The problem is that she pronounces every word like her life depended on it: “I simply must enunciate all my words completely and absolutely correctly. I cannot be heard to drop an ‘h’ or an ‘n’.” Is she really an ex-Cockney who underwent a posh makeover?

“I say no”, “the best deal for Britain”, “Jeremy Corbyn is really a 90-year old SS prison guard from Buchenwald”. Seriously? Jeremy Corbyn is anti-semitic? May has joined all the other leaders who pee their pants at the thought of criticising Israel for the treatment of the Palestinians, who live in a prision called the Gaza Strip. Did we hear a peep out of her over the Israelis murdering about 200 stone-throwing Palestinians at the ‘border’?

A great speech, with not a single mention of ‘Chequers’ or ‘Boris’. Yep, all her problemas are over,